Let me be transparent for a moment. I'm guilty of doing something I'm encouraging and advising younger men not to do. If this blog reaches you, or if you have young men in your lives whether they're sons or nephews, this message is important.
Never move in with a woman.
Never move into a woman's house, and definitely never move in with a woman when she's still living with a parent. I guarantee it will not end well for you.
It's one thing if the woman you say you love moves into your place, which is also ill-advised if you're not married to her. It's another if you're moving in with her. It shows how weak you really are as a man.
The moment you move into her place, regardless of how tough you think you are, that is the moment you become a weak man. You really on her to take care of you. At first, she might be willing, and that's because the feeling is still good for the both of you. She loves the idea of being with you, and she might feel that you can take care of her in return.
It does not last long.
Some time later, she's going to resent you. She's carrying the financial burden of paying the rent or the mortgage, property tax if she owns the property, the bills, and the food. Chances are she's making more than you are, so she's the bread winner. She's listening to her friends, coworkers, mother, and sisters. They're in her ear about how superior she is to you, and how inferior to her.
Don't get me wrong. Not all women are like this. You might see some women who do this willingly because they're desperate and no one else wants them, and they set themselves up for being used financially, but that's another post for another day. Now back to the subject at hand...
The woman you move in with makes more than you do. Things are great at first, but she starts nitpicking at you. First, you're making the bed wrong. Then your forgetting to put the bag in the garbage bin. Then you forget to wash the two plates in the kitchen sink. The little things turn into the big things. She tells you that you have no right to tell her anything, and she's right about this.
Finally, she comes home later at night. You were up all night wondering where she was. You've even called and texted, and she hasn't responded. She was out with her friends, or possibly another man. She didn't owe it to tell you anything, and she owes you no explanation. She can literally bring another man in her home to replace you if she wants.
You decide to argue with her about this. She reminds you that she's the one paying the rent or mortgage, all of the bills, and feeding you. She tells you that you do nothing to contribute. If you're working, she tells you that you do nothing to contribute.
If you're splitting payments with her, yet the home is still in her name, it's still her house. She isn't your property. She isn't even yours. It's just your turn to be with her until she decides it's over. When it's over, pack your bags, dude. You're out.
Fellas, moving in with a woman is just one of the weakest things a man can do. Again, I'm guilty of this. I eventually learned from this and I've been on my own since. The only way you can gain a woman's respect is to succeed, and to do what you need to do to succeed. She'll respect you more if you're living on your own. She'll respect you more if you're not dependent on her, or anyone else. A self-reliant man is very attractive to a woman, no matter how much you make. It shows her that you don't need her for anything, and if she's attracted to you, she loves the feeling of being needed. The best way to go about that is to deprive her of that feeling. Once you truly depend on her for anything, that attraction towards you will go away.
However, if she's truly in love with you, that contradicts everything I've just said here. She's a rare one. She's a keeper.
Guys, be self-reliant. Be a little selfish. Live on your own. I don't care what you have to do. Get to a point where you live on your own, whether you live in an apartment or own a house. Don't split rent or mortgage with your wife when you do. You should take care of the finances, not her. I don't care if she makes more than you do. You are the head of the house. You take the burden off of her when she moves in with you. Be a man. This is what a man is supposed to do. She will appreciate you, and she will respect you a lot more... At least she should.
However, I'll say this. If she moves in with you and disrespects you, comes home later than usual, makes stupid excuses, and tries to make you look like the bad guy by gaslighting you, kick her ass out and put her on the streets where she belongs. She isn't worthy of your respect. It's your house. You're paying all the bills. She should be showing you respect by her actions, not just her words. Do not allow any woman to disrespect you in your own house. I don't care who she is.
Until next time, God bless.
The Freedom Runner