Let me just start this post by stating the obvious: I have no clue what it's like to be a single parent. I've never been a parent. I can't tell you how to raise your child. I don't know what it's like to raise a child. I don't know how to discipline a child, and I don't know how to reward a child. I don't know how to be strict towards a child, and I don't know how to spoil a child. There is nothing I can tell you about how to be a better parent.
However, because this is my post, and I believe in the freedom of speech and expression, I can say whatever the fuck I want. If you don't like it, click out of it. For everyone else who wants to read what I have to say, read on.
If you are a single mother, I want to talk to you. I should be asking why you are a single mother. Well, why are you a single mother? What the hell happened? Why would the man who gave you your child(ren) leave you to be a single mother? Why did he abandon his children and his responsibility? Why did he become a deadbeat?
For the record, I have no respect for any man who does this. I have no respect for deadbeat dads. They are among the weakest men on earth for running out on their homes and their responsibilities. They are the biggest cowards, and personally, I'd love to choke all of them.
Now, let's get to the abandonment issue we have here, and I'm going to say something that will ruffle your feathers. The man did not abandon his children. To contradict my earlier paragraph, he didn't abandon his responsibilities to his children. He abandoned you! He abandoned you because he was too weak to handle you.
Now let's state the obvious in your situation with him. He didn't choose to marry you. He didn't even want a relationship. He chose to have sex with you, and children were born. He didn't want the package deal. He saw you for the appeal you had to him. He obviously found you attractive. You have to understand (and this is no justification) that it is a man's nature to hunt, pursue, and mate with a woman. This is what we men do. A real man will court the woman he wants to marry. In this situation, there was no courting. He was just trying to get some.
Men like these will tell you what you want to hear because they want to build your trust. These men are snakes. Women are naturally attracted to words, especially from men they find attractive. It's more than just his looks because his looks will only get him so far. If he says the right things, she is hooked. Younger women are more impressionable, and they will fall for anything at an early age. Most young women are still just babies and don't know shit, so they fall for things like money, lavish gifts, and sweet talk. Let's throw alcohol in the picture. If a man gets her drunk enough, he'll increase his odds of getting her in his bed.
Finally, the man tricks her into having sex with him. After their night of fun is over, he disappears and looks for his next target. She finds out she's pregnant. She can consider herself lucky if she even has his contact information. When she tells him she's pregnant, he chickens out because this isn't what he signed up for. I have news for this man; by getting her pregnant, it's exactly what he signed up for!
I can blame the man all day until I'm blue in the face. Let's be honest. He's the one who lured her into his bed. He's the one who didn't wear the condom. He's the one who knocked her up. Most of the blame should go on him because he was supposed to be the man. Men are supposed to lead women, not lure them. He did not lead her. He lured her. If he would've led her, he would've courted her until she agreed to marry him. She already found him attractive. She was already thinking marriage the moment she saw him. Obviously, she wanted to be the mother of his children... but not like this.
Men who do this are not leaders. They are not alphas. They're not even omegas, nor are they sigmas. Sigma males don't do this shit. This is complete beta. Only beta males run from their responsibilities to the women they knock up. They run from the idea of commitment. They run from the idea of taking care of their women. Beta males make terrible husbands and boyfriends because they are afraid of being men. They are afraid of being leaders.
I can get into the woman making the bad decision by choosing a man like this all I want. Let's be honest. Sleeping with a man because he said a few things she wanted to hear was a terrible decision. Allowing him to get her drunk was worse. Even without the drinking, it's a bad decision to begin with. Whether she was coaxed by the alcohol or by her friends who don't hold her accountable, she messed up by choosing Chad or Tyrone to sleep with. While the man determines whether or not he'll be in a relationship with her, she has the control over her body. She chooses who she sleeps with, and she chose poorly.
Consequences? Fatherless children.
Now she has the burden of raising children on her own. This should not be her responsibilty alone, but it is. A woman can only do so much when it comes to raising children. She cannot discipline her children the same way a man would. Good men provide structure. Good men can protect the entire home, physically and spiritually.
Don't get me wrong. There are very good single mothers who have raised very good children, but they are in the minority. A lot of times, however, the daughters grow up to become single mothers themselves. The sons either grow up to be very violent, or they grow up to be complete wusses. Either way, they grow up to be beta males. Why is this? Why do the daughters grow up not knowing what a man's love really is? Why do the sons grow up to be very weak men? Why is this always the case when being raised by single mothers?
In a son's case, he learns from his father by watching what his father does. If he's actually being raised by his father, he becomes what his father is, whether good or bad. He takes the same traits his father possesses. If his father is a provider, a protector, and a leader, then his son will be that man. If his father is abusive, his son is going to be abusive. If his father is an alcoholic, his son will be an alcoholic. Also, a good father will do his best to show his son how to be a man. He will equip his son with wisdom, and he will do this at an early age. He will show his son how to manage money, drive a car, shave, shoot a gun, and most importantly, how to treat a woman he loves. The son will learn by example.
In the daughter's case, she learns what love really is from her father. She watches how her father interacts with her mother, both good and bad. If her father and her mother have a very good relationship, she wants to find a man that will do just that. Naturally, daughters are drawn to their fathers, so she will learn firsthand what the love of a man is like. As she gets older, she will want to find a man who can love her the same way, if not better, but also a man she's attracted to and wants to marry. Also, her father will protect her a little more than he'd protect his son. Her father won't allow just any man to date her. In order to get to her, a man would have to get through her father. If he can impress her father, he's going to be a suitor. I should also add that she learns how to be a wife when living with both parents, mostly the mother, because the mother has been a very good wife herself.
In a worse-case scenario, if the father is abusive towards the mother, the daughter will most likely be involved in an abusive relationship or marriage because she will believe that this is what love really is. If the father is an alcoholic, she may end up with an alcoholic husband, or even become alcoholic herself. If her father is a cheater (or even if her mother is one), she will eventually become a cheater herself. She will carry the same traits as her father, or she will marry someone who does.
Back to abandonment.
A man who abandons his family isn't really abandoning his family. He is abandoning the woman he got pregnant. It has nothing to do with the kids. Deep down inside, yes, all men want to be dads. The deadbeats, however, will take a look at their children, and their children will remind them so much of the women they got pregnant. For whatever reason, they look at the children, and they can't bare to take on the responsibility. They do not hate their children at all, even when they say they do. They hate the women they slept with.
The single mothers, on the other hand, take their anger out on the children because the deadbeats left them. Not all of them, but many of them. Many of them lash out at their children for even the littlest things that remind them of their deadbeats. These mothers resent their children because they resent the men that gave them the children. Because these men were too weak to step up and protect their children from mothers like these, they are considered beta males, and they are a huge part of the reason why their children grow up to become criminals, alcoholics, drug-addicts, deadbeats, and sluts. I'm blaming the deadbeats for a continuing rise of single-mother households, and I'm blaming them for not providing structure in the lives of their children. That should not be the mother's responsibility. That should be the father's responsibility. The father is supposed to provide, protect, and discipline. The father is also supposed to show their children the love of God. Because all deadbeats have no God in their hearts, it is impossible to do this.
The mother's role is to nurture and comfort her children. She is the one who is supposed to take care of them emotionally. She should not have the burden of doing everything on her own. Also, if this father were actually a man and actually took care of her, she would look to him the same way he looks to God. If he were to actually take care of his wife, she would take care of the children. It would be that much easier for her. In return for his actions, she would give him anything he wanted, especially in the bedroom.
Gentlemen, please don't be stupid. It is a bad idea to chase a woman simply because she looks great in a dress or a bikini. It is a bad idea to chase tail, have sex with a woman, and then get her pregnant. It is a stupid thing to do, and I don't care who you are. You should purse a woman with an intent to marry her. If all she has is looks, and nothing else to bring to the table, don't have anything to do with her.
Ladies, not every man has the best of intentions. A man who tells you everything you want to hear is not the man you want to marry. You need a man who will tell you what you need to hear, whether you like it or not. You need a man who will actually show he cares about you by paying attention to the smallest details in your life. You need a man who will actually protect you from deadbeats. You also need a man who will respect you enough to not lure you into his bed. If he has to get you drunk to have sex with you, that is not the man for you. He is a snake, and he is a loser. If you want a good man to marry, stay out of the bars, and stay out of the nightclubs. You will not find a husband there.
That's all I got... for now.
Until next time, God bless.
The Freedom Runner